Your Mother and I

There will be a time when you read this and wonder why I wrote this. It’s just a story I want you to know…

I met your mother through a mutual friend six years before your birth, she was in Pune, studying and I was in Chandigarh for the same purpose. We didn’t know each other very well personally, but by exchanging e-mails and through chatting we became quite a friend. She’d send me gifts, such as collection of classical music (Beethoven, Mozart, and Handel etc.) or just edibles. I once had a chance to meet her in Pune but my plans were cancelled and I did not tell her about the cancellation, and she waited on me there at Pune Station. I was unwell and had to go home, when I got to know this I felt very awkward but she was alright with it.

I met her again after two years; she was also home and working in a school where your cousin SinSin attends. It was funny how I was when I met your mother again, I was going through a hard time, a crisis of sorts, but she helped me see through tough times. I used to drop and pick your cousin up from the school where she works, so I get to see her everyday. She’d be all smiles and Yakity yaks, she was totally into silly, dry, corny jokes that makes me laugh, she’d come over to my place and I’d go over to hers, sometimes I’d stay there till late and how I used to be, we still laugh about it.

Time went by and my troubles were fading fast and I began to have a thing for her, though I held back myself, one day I took a chance and sealed my feeling with a kiss, I was ready for a rebound, a slap or a punch in the face, but your mother was all chocolates and Ice creams for me tooJ. Let me put this in her own words, “ I used to wonder when I fell in love with you, I couldn’t pin it down to the day, the hour or the moment, I have learned since then that, I never fell in love with you…We met, we talked, we shared and we grew in love…”

Your mother was a goofball, when we started dating, I’d look into her eyes and say some endearments and she’d burst into a guffaw that unnerves me and I’d say to myself there she goes again. But she grew up and I miss that a lot in her.

When we were together we’d talk a lot about different things, about our lives but mostly she’d do the talking and I’d listen. I was the centre of her universeJ she’d forget everything and sits besides me, we’d listen to “My love my valentine” her favorite song or to some classical music, she’d try to make me listen to Hip-Hop with I abhor totally, instead of telling her that I’d cringe and listen wondering if it was a song or a some depressing recital. In the evening she’d realize she had forgotten to cook dinner when your grandmother came home from work. I was often invited for dinner, sometimes I’d cook, that’s how she found out I’m a better cook than her.

I have a ride that’s over twenty years old and it often died on me on the driveway at her place, sometimes she’d wake your uncles up and they’d push start my ride and I’d be on my way home. Whenever this happened she would never let me deal with it alone no matter how late, she’d fetch a light and be there helping me when that crap needs a fix. Word of advice: Never date a guy with a crap ride… I won’t let you anyways, the guy would too embarrassed!!! It’s not pretty when I had to kiss your mom goodnight smelling of grease and gas.

Your ‘Ama’ is a cry baby, she looks tough on the outside but she is soft as a virgin cotton ball inside. Sometimes I often wonder what makes her cry, she’d cry when she watch Hindi movies, or soaps. She is very jealous too, and a nasty one at that, I will give you one example, when she calls me, if I don’t pick up or if I had switched it off or even if I’d answer her and she hears female voice in the background, baby, you don’t want to know what I had to do to pacify her. We have our fallouts but it was never that bad, we’d talk it out and we’d be alright. You see your mom loves me so much she even fought for me, I had to referee in an all women Saturday night fight, there was no winner of course, I still have a good laugh when I think about it… So if you want to make your mother Mad, Plan Ahead!

I love her for lots of reasons, but one thing I really love about her is that she’d never forget to give me gifts on my birth day, even if she could not afford it. When I am sick she’d bring me something that would make me feel better (she'd bring me eggs or even medicines,something to read etc), I get sick a lot of times. Try to be like her in that way, people will never forget your intent behind the deed. As for me I am pretty lousy, I even forget your mom’s birth day, but she knows me even if she feels bad she’d hide it and I’d be there three days late or something like that.

I used to behave in a way she really hates, but instead of going all out on me, she’d pray, she’d forgive my ways no matter how I had hurt her, she’d always be behind me when someone tell her that I am not right for her. She is like that even for her friends; she’d never want to hear anything bad about the ones she cares about.

There was a time when we’d talk for hours on the phone, and even after we hang up we’d still short message each other, I don’t recall us talking about anything of significance but the feeling was indescribable. I read a joke some where about a girl who went to see her dentist with her dad, she was curious about how the dentist would keep her mouth open, the father replied, “They’d give you a phone”. I always remember your mom when this joke crosses my mind. I hope you don’t turn out like that, even though your mom already bought you a toy cell phoneJ.

One difference your mother and I have is on reading, she seldom reads, even the daily paper, where as I read anything I can lay my hands onto. I like reading in bed, with your mother it’s like me bringing another lady along to the bed. When I cannot read before I sleep I’d still think about it, she can’t stop me from that isn’t it?

You see dear reading expands the horizon of your mind, it widens your perspective, the way you look at life, you can paint pictures with words, have endless adventures, meet the fairies, the powerful Kings and Queens, handsome Princes and beautiful Princesses, and you could even fight with the demons and chase them away, and you can even save the world you live in.

There is nothing I hate about the ways of your mother, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t get annoyed. We have our differences and we will have more in the future, but Your Mother and I we always work things out, no matter how long it takes us. We have a bond in between us which is called HOPE, and that is you my littlest Nadia.

Written on 24^th June 2008